Cycle 4, Episode 5: "The Girl Who Is Contagious"
We open with Lluvy lamenting that Brandy’s gone and Tatianna (Brandy’s nemesis) says she thinks it’s great.
Is Tatianna wearing any clothes under the covers? It’s unclear.
Michelle introduces us to the sores on her face. What are they? She’s never had them before and it’s making her stress, which could be making the sores worse.
The models go to a beauty school and their instructor appears to be this older man named Paul Thompson.
He launches into this boring lecture about makeup. But surprise! It’s actually Mr. Jay in some full-on prosthetics!
Miss Kahlen gets spicy!
The models have to practice doing a “go-see look” on each other, which means wearing makeup that doesn’t look like you’re wearing makeup. Because we are all ugly trolls and never enough as we are. And cosmetic companies need to sell makeup!
Michelle’s beating herself up because she says she’s a perfectionist and hates not knowing how to do something (like makeup).
Michelle had such a great makeover but it appears that she does not have any purple shampoo because that hair is getting brassy and it is clashing with her skin tone. I can say this because I’ve had varying shades of good to bad artificial blonde in my hair.
But I’ve got my go-see hair now!
Noelle discusses missing her son Damian and Brittany does not give one shit.
Tyra comes over and talks one-on-one with all the models. She recommends Michelle go see a dermatologist (but doesn’t send her to one). We learn that Tatianna is pretty much homeless in Hawaii and sleeps on the beach some nights. Tiffany feels overwhelmed by the pretentiousness of the fashion industry.
We then have an actual challenge with Mr. Jay the next day where instead of a fresh, non-makeup face, they’re going for a “haute couture” look.
Mr. Jay calls Tiffany “a toasted Miss Piggy on crack.”
And says Michelle is “a little more Fright Night”.
Mr. Jay should not be excused in the modern day cancellation of Top Model.
Naima wins by having a knock-off Princess Amidala look.
The prize for the challenge is a one-of-a-kind custom-made accessory. So Naima brings Lluvy and Christina to Lauren Scherr’s studio (a.k.a. her kitchen) for some gaudy purses.
Back at the house, Noelle is talking on the phone to her mom and says Michelle has a “flesh-eating bacteria” on her face. This is undiagnosed.
Noelle’s mom responds by gasping and saying the news is reporting there’s a flesh-eating bacteria going around that is resistant to antibiotics.
Noelle then passes this news on to all the other contestants in what is the definition of gossip.
Rebecca and Tatianna both call home to talk about it.
Tiffany’s grandmother hasn’t heard.
In one of the most problematic photoshoots, this week the challenge is to make the models appear to be another ethnicity. Eesh! It’s also for the “Got milk?” campaign so they randomly have milk mustaches. And they’re holding children. There’s a lot going on!!
The styling is super weird. I don’t feel like the race-changing does anything to make the photos more interesting. And it’s done in a very stereotypical way. They could have just done the milk mustache or the children but not all at once.
My friend Shonette and I did recreate these photos in high school, but I will not be sharing them (for obvious reasons).
Michelle finally goes to the doctor for her face and is diagnosed with impetigo.
It’s easily treated. So not a flesh-eating bacteria, Noelle!
Because they don’t want to take any risks with the children, Michelle gets to hold a doll (lol). The other models are jealous because the doll is so much lighter than a 40-pound child.
This is Tyra’s race-change photo. Why?
All of the photos are bad and offensive. They look like weird, grown-up American girl dolls. I’m going to include them because the photos made it all the way to TV, so they deserve to be shamed forever.
Look how they creepily photoshopped that kid’s face on the doll.
Noelle gets eliminated for being short and wearing flip flops to panel. The judges also don’t see a model in her. So she can go home to Reno and see her son.
Since the show, Noelle appears to have pretty much disappeared. No modeling, no social media. Hope she and Damian are doing well!
Thanks for reading and I hope to see you back here for Cycle 4, Episode 6. If you’re not already, be sure to subscribe to get added to my newsletter.
Fierce and love,
P