Cycle 7, Episodes 1 & 2: "The Girl Who Marks Her Territory"
Can you believe we’re on Cycle 7? I’m very proud of my little Substack baby. I can’t believe I started it at the beginning of 2021 when the world was in a different place. Who’s to say if it’s better or worse now?
Life’s been busy for me lately. I’m training for an Ironman. I went to Bosnia for a work trip. I finished going to all 50 states! I survived potentially getting called for a grand jury. But I’m managing.
ANTM Cycle 7 premiered in 2006. That year, “Borat” premiered, Saddam Hussein was killed and Britney Spears and Kevin Federline divorced.
We start out again with casting in LA where 33 hopefuls arrive!
Jaeda’s the first contestant we meet and I’m excited because I know what her makeover will be.
Becky says she wants it more than anyone else. That means she’s going to be eliminated early.
Evita aspires to be a model, but she has two kids back at home AND their dad is in Iraq. Oof!
Representing ANTM Airlines, Miss J meets them at the airport.
CariDee is so excited to see “he - she - whatever” Miss J. C’mon pronoun fluidity!
She has a pierced tongue.
She comes into the interview portion wearing a garter. It’s too much.
Miss J tells the contestants they’ll have their first photoshoot right away. There’s a lot of hype for it, but it’s just a tarp taped on some airport building in the parking lot.
The “Aswirl” twins Ron and Richard Harris (from last season) interrupt the models’ breakfast the next morning. This one person just had to stand up in the middle of them.
And they bring out the one and only Tyra Banks.
I think of A.J. as a continuation of Mollie Sue. She SURVIVED cervical cancer!
Melrose feels super confident because she’s 23 and knows what she wants. Her name is “Melissa Rose” but she goes by “Melrose”. No thanks.
Jaslene is one of the 33 this cycle. But keep an eye on her in Cycle 8 *wink*.
Anchal is beautiful and represents for South Asian beauty. I can’t believe she was only 19 on this show.
She wars blue contacts to meet Tyra and the Js, which starts this (semi-forced) conversation about race, culture and wanting to appear “white” to be beautiful. Who started it? Of course, Tyra did.
Amanda and Michelle are twins. Michelle’s the “tomboy” and Amanda’s not.
We didn’t see them at the airport because they’re from Anaheim. Their mom probably dropped them off.
Eugena thinks last season’s cast of ANTM was boring. Uh hello? What about Jade?
When she was 9, Megan was in a plane crash that killed her mom. Holy moly! It’s such a reality TV producer move to make her talk about this in order to get cast.
Cyndel is from Wichita and works at Jezebel’s. She tells the judges she’s an entertainer, not a stripper.
She tries to compare what she does to modeling and Tyra bats her down hard.
Leangela lived in a homeless shelter with her mother and then was in foster care. But she still became the first Black homecoming queen in her high school’s history. I wish I knew more about her!
The gimmick to announce the first cut is that the contestants have to run around a salon to see if their photo is in a folder.
That cuts us down to 21 FINAL finalists.
The Js tell the models they will be doing a photoshoot where they have to style themselves. The catch: they’ll be nude! But they do have some optional shitty hair extensions they can wear.
As expected, some people are not happy about nudity. One of them is 18-year-old, conservative, religious Ginger.
I love Melrose for this line.
But with some support from Jaeda, Ginger eventually gets up the courage to sit for one shot where her butt is kind of visible.
It’s probably really hard to do this when you’re 18. No one wanted to look at me naked when I was that age, so I can’t imagine what it’s like, especially being on TV doing it.
Look at this dumbass photo of CariDee.
And Brooke’s isn’t much better.
Brooke’s storyline is that she’s young.
After even more deliberation, Tyra — in her gigantic hair that’s really flat on the top — announces the FINAL FINAL finalists.
The 13 are:
Melrose
Jaeda
Michelle
Eugena
Brooke
Anchal
A.J.
Christian
Megg
Megan
CariDee
Amanda
Monique
Evita, Leangela, Ginger, Becky and Jaslene don’t make the cut. But just you wait for Jaslene…
The second part of the premiere begins with the contestants meeting Miss J for a runway challenge. The client they’re working with is Elmer Ave.
I have no idea who these people are.
They each have to take a male model’s clothing, “feminize” it and model it themselves.
Melrose wins with the most over the top walk.
Their first Tyra Mail is the key to the model house. The house theme this cycle is “Tyra Magazine”. So there are (surprise) lots of photos of Tyra and this long “letter from the editor”.
For some reason, there are only 11 beds for 13 contestants. Christian and Monique snoozed and missed out.
But, Monique is a mess and takes over Eugena’s bed by pouring water on it and saying she peed to mark her territory.
In two nights, the house becomes a mess.
So they have a house meeting, which seems to be organized and led by Mother Melrose.
Multiple people say they take HOUR-LONG SHOWERS. What are you doing in there??
For their first photoshoot in the house, they’re portraying model stereotypes. And what better way to illustrate this than a semi-scripted scene starring Tyra as an over-the-top supermodel. We didn’t need it.
Some of the assignments are so lighthearted while others are REALLY heavy:
A.J. - model working the casting couch*
Amanda - anorexic model*
CariDee - dumb blonde
Brooke - backstabbing bitch
Christian - model turned actress
Eugena - Black girl the industry is trying to turn into a white girl (Tyra clearly came up with this one)
Megan - diva with a lapdog
Michelle - “bulimia model”* - the way Mr. Jay assigns it
Jaeda - plastic surgery victim
Megg - drunk, drug addict model*
Anchal - narcissist
Monique - throwing a cell phone at her assistant
Melrose - not going to wake up for less than $10,000 a day
*indicates this is a problematic concept and would not fly today
Melrose’s prize from the challenge is that she gets a personal assistant and is pampered during the shoot. It turns her into a bit of a diva. She makes Jay wait 10 minutes while she insists her makeup get touched up because she got a massage with her makeup on. I agree it was a strange sequence of events. But Melrose should have showed up on time with that smudged makeup. If Jay wanted it touched up, he could have told her then.
The prizes this cycle are a contract with Elite Model Management, the cover and a six-page spread in Seventeen magazine and a $100,000 contract with CoverGirl cosmetics. The judges are the same as last cycle: Nigel Barker, Miss J and Twiggy.
At judging, Tyra is REALLY on something, criticizing how the models dressed and styled themselves. She gets up multiple times to yank their clothes up and down.
I know it was 2006, but Jaeda needs to get rid of this belly button ring.
My favorite photos are:
Because of her attitude on set, Melrose ends up in the bottom two with Christian, who the judges say is boring. Christian is the first one eliminated from the house. She only got to one official episode, but her nude photo from casting was good. So I’ll include that to memorialize her.
She’s gone on to model some and is really into tarot. She’s also pregnant right now!
Thanks for reading and I hope to see you back here for Cycle 7, Episode 3. It’s makeovers!!!
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Fierce and love,
P
Congratulations on your accomplishments, including your lil Substack baby!
And, oof, those assignments are :-/